I was just looking back...

I was looking back through the past month's worth of pictures looking for things that I wanted to print, and I came across a photo that I just love! It's from when my mom was here, and we were trying to get a photo of her with all the grandkids. It's very similar to one I already posted.

Anyway, poor Kyden, the littlest of the bunch, was not feeling good. We're actually quite lucky that we got the one "normal" one that we did. While we were taking these pictures, though, he just kept throwing his head back crying. Poor little guy did NOT want to be doing this, but it was my mom's last day here. No choice for him. Ha! So, anyway, I caught this one in the middle of trying to get a good one. Turns out, I think it's just as good as the "good" one! It's just so...them!

I also wanted to just thank all of you for your encouraging words. I guess I was mostly just really taken aback when I saw my girls' faces on that site. It really disturbs me that I don't know who is looking at these pictures & with what intent, you know? I mean, in this particular instance, I see that it's mostly harmless, but they just do NOT have the right.

I think that, for now, I'll be keeping things as they are. I've taken some extra precautions to try to prevent this from happening again, although I know there are always ways around it. This blog has given me too much to just abandon it. And, to think...I was a blog snob before I started this. Hahaha! My how things change! Anyway, I'm not willing to sacrifice the benefits of this blog for now. Plus, I'm really excited & flattered that I've inspired so many of you & helped you become better photographers. That just absolutely floors me. So, thanks, everyone. I appreciate all of your comments. :-)

Well...I just don't know what to do...

So, I don't have any images to post today. I'm really quite torn about what to do with this blog of mine right now.

Unfortunately, someone has been using images of my girls in their Orkut profiles. I'm not sure if you all know what Orkut is, but apparently it is very similar to MySpace. They create profiles, have groups of friends, communities that they belong to...whatever. Well, with tweens/teens in Brazil, it seems to be some sort of game. They create, and they loudly proclaim it, FAKE profiles. Apparently they start as babies & "grow" themselves up into celebrities with families. So, they just wander around the internet and grab pictures wherever they find them. It seems to be fairly harmless, THANK GOODNESS, but it's still a little frightening considering I had NO idea I was a blip on the radar of people like this. My girls appeared in three different profiles that I found and three different communities. With a lot of pestering, hounding & threats of legal action, I was able to get the three profiles to remove the pictures of the girls. I have not been successful with the communities, yet, but they were not tops on my list as the pictures are much smaller.

Anyway, so, I've been discouraged. I guess I was just naive. I told my mom that I think this blog has made me a better photographer. I really, really do NOT want to give that up. By being put in a position to verbalize what was going through my head or the way I was feeling when I took a particular picture, it has forced me into being more in tune with the moments & emotions that really mean something, so I've been better able to capture them. Was that the most confusing run on sentence of all time? I mean, when I have to reread it eight times to figure out if it makes sense...yeah...that's bad. But, I'm tired, so I'm not rewriting it. Haha! It all boils down to blogging has improved my photography. :-)

So, yeah, I don't know what I'll do with it. I'm not going to quit blogging. I really don't want to make it private either. We'll see.

That's why I have no images. Let's just say I'm not in a hurry to post new pictures here. :(

In fifteen minutes time...

In fifteen minutes time today, I saw about a billion different faces of Emma. Fortunately, all of them were pleasant, if not straight up goofy. She's got at least a billion more than what I saw, but...well...those ones are not the most pleasant, if you know what I mean. (And, I'm sure many of you do.)

Anyway, the girls & I had one of Maya's most favorite friends spending the day with us today. He's the cutest little kid with SUCH a personality. I really, really enjoyed having him over. I thought it might be nice to take a few pictures of him while he was here as a little gift for his mom. I NEVER could have imagined just how wonderful these photos would come out! He LOVED the camera, and, because he oozes personality, the pictures were just so full of life! SO much fun! As I was looking at them on the computer, I realized that they may be some of my new favorites. I was thinking that I'd LOVE to share them with you guys, but, since I don't have permission from his mom, I'm not able to at this time.

So, then, I was thinking, "what am I going to share on my blog today? I've gone and taken some new favorites, and I can't share." :-( Well, on a whim, I decided to take whichever girl was willing out into the backyard for a few shots. Maya was preoccupied with...well...who knows. It doesn't take much to preoccupy her. Ha! But, Emma was quite enthusiastic.

We headed out into the backyard, and she was just wound up. It was just her & I, interacting, giggling, having a good time. I really enjoyed our fifteen minutes. Emma tends to be harder for me to connect with, really connect with, than Maya. Maya is just cuddly by nature. She's just ALWAYS right there. Special moments with Maya are quite frequent. Emma, though. Well, Emma has always been really independent. Even when she was a newborn, she didn't want us to hold her while she slept or rock her to sleep or anything. She was content to put herself to sleep and quite discontent if we tried to get too cuddly. Ha! So, when I can connect with Emma on that special, one on one, intimate level...it's just that much sweeter. This fifteen minutes was full of stolen glances and all knowing, mischievous smiles. It's as if she & I looked at each other and, in our eye contact, understood so much more than words could say. She's my girl. Turns out I got many photos of my Emma that were just as full of life.
Tell me you see that genuine smile in her eyes?



And, my most favorite. She's laughing hysterically, hiding from the camera. Oh, so cute!
And, though it's fairly obvious, I was shooting wide open for these. I used the Sigma 30mm 1.4 on my 30D. :-)

So...whaddya think this means?

I spotted this new addition to my new favorite field.
Can I just say...I'm not very happy about this. I'd like to whine about it for just a minute. I know I have no grounds to argue, but sheesh people... Okay, maybe it IS private property, although there was no fence around it or anything, and it was right on the side of the road. However, there were trails all through the flowers. Do you think maybe they mean that I just need to stay on the trails!?! Haha! I mean, "please don't trample the flowers" sounds like to me that I can visit so long as I DON'T trample the flowers, right!?! Okay, okay...I know. The big, red PRIVATE PROPERTY across the top is screaming something else.

That's fine, Mr. LandOwner. I'll stay out of your field. But, just know...I'm mad at you. Seriously. I, and the rest of the county, would enjoy YOUR flowers WAY more if we could take pictures in them. Ha!

So, yeah. Now I'm sad. That was a short love affair we had. Atleast I got my own family in there once, right!?!

All you moms out there - don't you just love days like today?

Not to be discriminatory or anything, but I know you moms will understand.

So, my girls are supposed to go to nap/rest time at about 1pm every day. Well, today 1pm rolled around, and I realized that I hadn't heard much out of the girls lately. Normally, they're running around, being maniacs, fighting, whining, giggling, squealing, whatever. They're just not quiet. Haha! I'm thinking they're up to mischief. That's a pretty safe bet with these two. If they're quiet, they're trying to get away with something.

I'm thinking now's as good a time as any to bust up their party with a little nap/rest time. Right? I mean, you get into mischief, you go to bed. Haha! If only it were that easy.

Anyway, I head over to their room to find them actually playing QUIETLY and TOGETHER! Man...it was just too sweet. They'd dragged their dollhouse & all their dollhouse furniture out into the middle of the floor and were playing. Together! No fighting, no whining, no anything. Just sweet little angel children. And, they were wearing dress up clothes. That sent me over the edge with adoration. They've fooled me this time around with their cuteness. So, yeah...I didn't make them go to nap/rest time today. Instead, I took pictures. Ha!

To me, that scattered mess of dollhouse furniture amongst green & yellow tulle from their dresses...childhood at it's best! And, it's like they didn't even know I was there. It was just so perfect. I would welcome their messes more often if they played like this all the time.

So, yeah...I snapped a bunch of pictures. I just wanted to capture their interaction, their little hands being as delicate as they could...






And, my most favorite of them all:

So, yeah...no faces, no eye contact, no expressions. But, man, do I love these pictures. Such a treasure for me.

We're back!

Okay, so, we're home, and we had the BEST time. Seriously.

We chose to go to San Antonio & stay on the Riverwalk. I've only been there once, maybe twice, but there's just something about walking along the river surrounded by lush greenery & ambient lighting that stuck with me & nudged me to want to go back. This was the first time that Curt & I have been there together, and it was just so amazing!

When we got there, we checked into our hotel & just hung out for a bit before going out shopping. I had a grand idea. Well, I thought it was grand. I'm pretty sure, though, that if the hotel saw these pictures, we just might find some sort of extra charges on our credit card statement! Haha! I'm sure you see what I mean. :-)

Yes, that's me. And, dang. I'm so outta shape. Seriously. I was dying after that! Haha! The window lighting that we were using on the right hand side of the picture...well...the window didn't go all the way up to the ceiling, so my face was darker than the rest of the picture. When I lighten it up, there's quite a bit of grain. Oh well. I still like them. :-)

After that, Curt & I took a self portrait. I really, really like this shot. I'm so surprised that it turned out as well as it did considering we set the camera on the night stand & set the self timer. I'd push the shutter, then RUN all the way around the bed & get myself where I needed to be. Fun times.

After all this, we went out shopping & to dinner. For those of you that don't know, I'm SO indecisive. So, what do you think happened when we hit the Riverwalk & there were about 4 billion places to eat? Oh my gosh. I wanted to make the right choice, the best choice because we only had the one night in San Antonio. We wanted to avoid the young, party scene, so that automatically took several places out of the running. But, as we walked along the river, we came to a little restaurant called Dolores del Rio almost at the very end of the Riverwalk. You couldn't see into the restaurant from the sidewalk because it was up a small flight of stairs, and there were no windows (that I recall.) Anyway, the host asked us to take a look inside, and when we did, we were in LOVE!

This will be a time when my words fail me. I just so wish that I could recreate the ambiance, the atmosphere with my words, but I'm afraid it's just not gonna happen. This little restaurant was the TINIEST restaurant ever. I mean, it was SO cramped that I actually had my foot stepped on twice. TWICE! Ha! But, honestly, the cramped quarters really "made" it. And, there was no air conditioning. Just fans. I also wouldn't have that any other way. Every little detail played into it's charm...added to it's character. There were probably 10-12 little tables nearly touching each other. Each table had a wine bottle acting as a candle holder which served as the lighting. So romantic.

Anyway, there was a blues band playing. It was so perfect for us. We couldn't have chosen a better dining experience. Almost immediately after we were seated, the band started to play "At Last" by Etta James - one of mine & Curt's most favorite songs together. It just confirmed to me that we were in the right place. It was a little Italian place, and the food was out of control good! There was SO. MUCH. FOOD. Delicious!

I know you all probably think I'm crazy. Yes, being an outsider looking in, I can see that this seems odd that I would rave so much about this dinner & talk of making the perfect choice. But, I just have to tell you...I felt like a lady. For once, I didn't feel like a mom. All the time I feel like a mom, a stay at home mom. It's not a glamorous life, and a lot of you know that. It's amazing how complacent I get in my own life. I just forget that there's anything else out there. I want to know more diversity. Being home, now, back to my evening routine...it kinda makes me sad. But, at the same time, dinner with Curt at Dolores del Rio rejuvenated me. It renewed my desire to feed my soul (not a spiritual soul) with art, culture, adult things. Things that make me feel carefree & full. Am I the only one this way? You know how some things just make you feel...I don't know...satisfied? Free? Like, after a long cool winter, I just feel so truly happy to put on flip flops & a tank & sit outside taking in the fresh spring air, you know? It just felt like a fresh, green spring after a long, cold winter, I guess. Whatever. I know I'm a rambling mess right now. I have faith, though, that atleast a handful of you know just what I mean. :-)

So, yeah. Here are some photos from Dolores del Rio. Yes, the white balance appears to be a crazy mess. But, sometimes, the perfect skin tones just don't suit the picture & mood you're trying to capture. We captured the scene as it was, red cast & all. :-)


The lighting was just so tough. The ISO was ALL the way up, and the shutter speed was ridiculously low. Of course we were shooting wide open, as well, and it was still just so dark. I wish we'd gotten more decent ones. These will have to work, though.

Anyway...so, this afternoon as we walked along the Riverwalk again, we came to Dolores del Rio. I have such a fondness for it, now, that I SO wanted a picture under the sign. We waited & waited & waited for someone to walk by who looked like they could pull off this shot. I'd metered, focused, done everything. All we needed was someone who understood the composition I wanted. Well, the first guy was a really, really nice guy, but he didn't understand the comp. So, we waited, waited, waited again. Finally, I saw a guy with a tripod in the distance. That's GOT to mean a good photographer, right!?! Haha! Don't you love my reasoning!?! Anyway, my assumption was right on, though. Curt asked him to take this photo for us, and he did a fantastic job! Of course, I told him to stand on this particular crack in the sidewalk (I'd focused from that point) and press the shutter. He composed it fabulously, though, and I'm so thrilled with the result! I'm really thankful to him that he didn't drop my camera or run off with it, too! Hahaha!!! :-) (Yes, that was a serious concern for me. I'm a dork, I know.)
Anyway...it really was a lovely weekend. :-)

This is history making, folks...

It's an entry without any pictures! Ha!

Well, it just occurred to me that I hadn't updated today. Of course, I didn't take any pictures today, so that would be why.

My mom left today. (Could I say "today" a few more times!?! Haha!) I'm sad to see her go, of course. I wish that she & Craig could be here with us. It's so hard to hug your mom goodbye & watch her drive away when you know that another year will pass before you see her again. I'm so grateful that we got this little extra bit of time with her, though not under ideal circumstances. But, I don't know... Emma will be almost through her entire kindergarten year. Gosh... that seems so... I don't know... far away. I mean, I'm struggling with Emma going to kindergarten anyway, but to think that she'll almost be in FIRST GRADE before she sees Grandma again. Well, you can see why we're sad, right!?! :-(

Anyway. Mom, we love you & hope that you had a safe trip back. I know it's hard for you to go back each time, too. But, hopefully this was the last time we had to say goodbye for so long! Right? That's a good way of looking at it.

So... I'm posting today despite my lack of pictures to let you all know that I won't be posting until late Saturday night, possibly Sunday. The hubster & I are getting away for the weekend sans kiddos! Woohoooo!!! Carla & Rod (Curt's parents) gave us this nice little getaway for Christmas. I've been looking forward to this weekend since December! Anyway... we're heading out tomorrow morning & won't be back until Saturday afternoon.

And, can I just say again...THANK YOU! Every single day, I am ASTOUNDED at the number of visitors and the insanely nice comments you guys leave for me. It's such a daily pick-me-up, and I don't know what I've done to deserve it! I'm so grateful, though! You guys are the best! Seriously.

And, one last thing. I know that I over use the ellipsis. And, I don't even use it correctly. Haha! Also, I know that I overuse the words "anyway," "and," "so," and "well." I also start out sentences with "and" or "but" which is a MAJOR no-no. Believe it or not, I majored in English. You'd think I would be a little more grammatically correct. But, I choose to write like I talk. I think it's more effective & personal for something like this, don't you? :-)

I'm in love with a new location.

Haha! Seriously, though...I've been eyeing this bluebonnet field for a few weeks now. It's just GORGEOUS! So, today, we decided to head out there & get a few pictures. It was probably about 4pm, so the sun was pretty bright, but we kinda made it work. :-)

I actually got my whole family dressed in coordinating outfits (okay, they were pretty matchy-match) to try to get a family picture. We haven't had one in ages, I don't think. And, the last one we tried to do in the bluebonnets was before I got into photography, so, yeah...it STUNK! Ha! Here we are:
Yes...we all have some article of grass green clothing on. We're dorks. I know.

Anyway, here are a few more from the field:

Grandma & the girls:
And, then we went on and met Heather's family for dinner. I convinced everyone to meet at a little historical park so that we could take a few picture of mom with all her grandkids. Amazingly, they were pretty cooperative.
There were TONS more good ones, too, but I'm feeling a little sleepy. I've got to get to bed soon.

Anyone wanna guess where we went today?

No, really. If you're a regular visitor, I bet you could guess correctly within 30 seconds! Haha! Yep...we went to the zoo. Again.

My mom is staying with us until this Thursday when she leaves to go back half way around the world. So, we thought we'd get out & do something fun today. And, yes, the hundredth visit to the zoo is still fun for us! Ha! (We're a simple family.)

Be watching, too. The girls got some new super cool rockstar sunglasses today. Remember how I mentioned that Maya is a serious lazy bones jones? Well, on the drive to the zoo, she decided that she'd like to walk today. However, she informed me that when her "eyes get hot," I'll need to pick her up and carry her. Um...no. Not happening. So, my solution? Get her some sunglasses so her eyes don't get "hot," and she can walk her own self all around that zoo! That's what she did, too! Woot! We've graduated into the big girl world of walking! Ha! :-)

Anyway, it was a good time. I found another new location for pictures. This new one just might be my favorite! The thing about it, though, is that only the top half of the wall is this nice blue crackly color. The bottom half is just plain wood, I think. It's seperated by a chair rail type thing or something. I don't know. I didn't pay THAT much attention. ANYWAY...I wanted to try it out, but my girls are too short. So, I asked mom to stand there for me. I'm LOVING the way this one came out. I'm so excited to have a nice, fun picture of mom!
And, here's Emma. I had to LAY on the GROUND to get this shot! I wanted her against the blue wall, though. Plus, the broken out roof is way cool, too. (Check out the glasses!)
Here's a couple of the three of them together. :-) (Maya's way too cool for school.) Eatin' ice cream cones & chattin' it up! Life doesn't get much better.
And, just a quick one of Maya being a rockstar. Hey, and check me out in her sunglasses! Haha! Fun stuff! And, by chance...does she look 18 here, or is it just me? Sheesh. Someone remind me to stop encouraging their sassy-ness & 3-going-on-teen behavior! What was I thinking buying them these glasses!?!
Here's one of an actual animal. I really like this one. This is the first time we've seen this white tiger up & about. Usually she's pretty lazy. Or, last week she just paced at the bottom of the enclosure, so you couldn't really see her. She was fun today!
And, finally...my experiment. Now, keep in mind there is LOTS of room for improvement here. But, I was wanting to try something a little different. We rode the train today, and while I was sitting next to Emma, I thought it would be neat to try to get a shot of her with the background motion blurred. So, I set my shutter speed to 1/4th of a second. I made her rest her head against the train, & I rested my camera against the train, as well. That way, maybe her movement & my movement would be semi similar, thus keeping her in focus at such a slow shutter speed while catching the motion in the background. I think it turned out kinda cool, although the lighting could have been better. Also, I think it would have been even cooler if I'd slowed the shutter speed even a little more to catch more motion. But, NO WAY she would have been anywhere near in focus. I was already asking a lot of this four year old by asking her to sit perfectly still on a train ride at the zoo! Know what I mean? So, yeah...here it is:
*****Also, I just want to thank you for all of the encouragement about the wedding shots! You guys are too good to me. I know you gotta start somewhere. I don't know why I thought it would be any easier than it was. Never the less, it really, truly was fun! :-) Thanks a bunch!*****

I second shot a wedding last night.

It was some seriously HARD work. Physically. My legs are SO sore today that it's almost embarassing. I mean, they are more sore than when I first started working out. Crazy, huh?

Anyway, after seven long hours of being on my feet lugging photography gear around, I'm quite disappointed, honestly, with my end results. Yes, I got some decent shots, and maybe even some good ones, but MAN...you should see how many of them just straight up stink! Haha! Like I said...hard work.

The lighting went from tungsten to flourescent to backlit to flash to anything else you can possibly think of. Flash is most definitely my weakest area, too.

So, the photographer that was kind enough to let me shoot second for him is Ashley Langford. He's a cool guy & a really creative photographer. He shared a few of his shots from this wedding with me already, and they're really cool! It's so funny how two people can be taking the exact same shot and they just come out so differently. I'm inspired to try a few new things after watching him shoot. Anyway...if you see this, Ashley, let me thank you yet again for letting me shoot for you. It was a good time.

On to the photos of Robert & Katy. :-)

Getting ready:


This is possibly my favorite photo from the day. I don't know why...I just love it. That's her grandmother's hanky (I think that's what she said!) I also just love the detail around her waist and those freckles. :-)
Unfortunately, we were not allowed to take any photos during the ceremony. Just the kiss. That's it. So...here it is:
After the ceremony & before the reception, we took some photos around the town square, and the happy couple went for an ice cream. Too cute.

My favorite thing about this shot is her reflection. Haha!

On to the reception. Here are a few of her dancing with her dad. I just thought they were too cute together. They were having a lot of fun. :-)

A final one of the bride & groom...
And, before anyone goes & tells me I did a good job...just know. These are the best ones. The rest STINK! Hahahaha! No, seriously. They do. Hard work, this is!

Is this an eyeroll?

I mean...seriously. She's 3.



Just two from yesterday.

Aren't we blessed?

You know, there are times when I realize just how blessed I am. For some reason, today is one of those days. Most days, if you were to ask, I'd say, "yeah, we struggle." Most of the time I wish I could offer my girls more. More of what? I don't know...just more. I wish we had more money in the bank, another car in the garage. I wish I was thinner or had more self control. I wish I had that new lens on the top of my list! Haha! I'm sure you've all been there before. (Atleast I hope some of you have been there before, or I'll feel REALLY shallow!)

But, today. Today I'm just content. I feel so thankful that my girls are growing up in a loving, stable home. I know that we are blessed beyond measure, and, as a mom, I don't need anything more. Oftentimes, I find myself in tears when I think about other mothers in other situations. Have you ever thought about things like this? I mean, really...what mom doesn't want the very best for their child? And, yet, there are SO many that struggle and just CANNOT give their child everything they'd like to give them whether it be a hearty meal, proper health care, a warm home, a pair of shoes. Whatever. From the minor things to the major things. It doesn't mean they want it any less for their child than I do for mine. It humbles me. It makes me feel ashamed that I take what we have for granted. It breaks my heart that there are moms out there struggling daily to give their children a sliver of what I give mine so casually.

So, today, when I look at these pictures of Maya, snuggled in a big, warm, cozy bed ready for nap time without a care in the world...I am grateful. We've got a good thing going here, and much of the time we don't even recognize it. Please remind me of this the next time I'm moaning and groaning about wanting a new lens. Being thin, having another car or more money...it's all insignificant when I stop and think about the things we DO have.

A slew of new subjects...

The girls & I spent the day with Katie & her family. They came in from California, and they'll be going home tomorrow. Katie is the fourth & youngest cousin of our little bunch. Heather, me, Alison & Katie make up the quartet that could manipulate Grampa into almost anything!

We don't get to see her often, unfortunately. I mean, it's hard for her to get out here too frequently, although she does make it usually once a year, sometimes more than that. And, I don't get out there. So, we just don't see each other much. I hate that, too, because she's such a fun girl. I'm trying to recall the last time I saw her in a bad mood, and I just can't, which is truly RARE for this family! Hahaha!!! We're all fairly cranky & moody now & again, but Katie seems to have avoided that gene. (I'm sure I'll be corrected if I'm wrong. :-) Ha!) She's got an infectious giggle, too.

So, anyway, we all went back to the zoo today. I know, I know...we're ALWAYS at the zoo. It's just that it's such a nice way to spend the day, plus Kru (Katie's little boy) LOVES animals. Perfect. You know me...LOTS of pictures at the zoo. I wanted to try to get a few family shots of them because they just added a new little one, Callee. (Please tell me I spelled that right!) Their kiddos are SO stinkin' cute, and I always appreciate a family picture where everyone is looking in the general vacinity of the camera, so I thought I'd try to do that for them. I think we came up with some okay shots, although I have to say...Callee in that white sweater against all the dark shirts...yeah...that's trouble for me, and it shows. I blew out her little sweater in a couple of these. Please just ignore that. Ha!


Kru had to be coaxed with Pringles to cooperate for this one:
And, here's just a random one of Callee while we were at the zoo. She's the cutest, chubbiest little thing!

I've also been wanting to do a newborn shoot SO bad lately. I was really hoping to be able to have some time with Callee for my sake (and their's), but with the weather being so cold, it's been almost impossible to do what I had in mind. Plus, time has been an issue this whole week. It seems like I, atleast, have been 2 steps behind on everything. But, anyway...I digress. So, like I said...I've been wanting to do a newborn shoot. This evening, under tungsten lighting, I decided to give it an attempt. I was afraid I wouldn't get much that I would just love, but I had to try, right? Turns out, I got quite a few that I love. I think it's the subject, though. How could you NOT love a photo of her? :-)

Color or black & white on this first one?

LOVE the little piggies! I had to go for this shot. There's just something about those miniature little wrinkly feet...
And this. Now, this was mommy's idea. I find it IMPOSSIBLE to believe that this little devil hat is warranted by this sweet angel. Haha.
And, with the new addition of Callee, and Aaron making his appearance in Texas for the first time in a LONG time, Rob requested a family picture. With everyone together, which is so infrequent, it's just a necessity! I felt the same way back in December when my mom & Craig were home. I wish I'd had more time to get this just right, but daylight was fading fast & dinner was ready. But, it's a treasure, nonetheless. And, Aaron...try harder next time. :-)

Wow...

Can I say it again? Thank you! Your words & prayers are so appreciated. I don't even know how to express my gratitude to you guys for your support.

I have to say that this has been a LONG week. Honestly, I think the whirlwind of being surrounded by family has kind of cushioned the reality of it all. I've so enjoyed seeing everyone and spending time with family that we only get to see few & far between. But, by spending so much time with family, I've not spent a lot of time alone with my emotions, my grief. I obviously don't regret being together. It's just that now I'm stuck with myself. Ha!

From the time I got in the car to come home, pretty much instantaneously, I felt that what I said about grampa wasn't adequate. Preparing for the service, making plans, rummaging through pictures (pretty much celebrating his life) has just renewed and multiplied my adoration for him. Anyway... I don't know where I'm going with any of this. Just that I wish there was more that I could say. For the time being, I suppose I'll just bury my nose in his shirt & relish in the scent of his cologne. It makes the memories (and the tears) come flooding. Maybe I'll find something more to say later...

And, on with this post. I did take lots of pictures while I was away. Not as many as I thought, but still enough to make my head spin when I think about the proofing. These first few are just hanging around my sister's house. Down time...

Sweet Kyden:
LOVE this one of maniac Cam.
Camden playing the guitar. :-)

If anyone can rock the side ponytail, it's DEFINITELY Emma!
Okay, and can you believe this!?! It SNOWED! LOTS! I mean, when we packed up & left on Tuesday, it was probably 70 something...maybe 80...I don't know. I don't really remember. But, either way, I totally was NOT expecting snow! We got more snow than we got all winter! I couldn't believe it. Probably between 3 - 4 inches! I was totally NOT prepared for it at all, and of course the girls wanted to go out & play in it. I had to run to a local resale shop & buy WINTER clothes. In APRIL! (Insert eyeroll here.)

My niece & nephew when it first started:


Maya after it had been snowing a while. Look at that ground! Seriously...can you believe it!?!

And, on to coloring Easter eggs. These were taken with the dreaded flash as we colored Easter eggs at midnight. I know, I know...what kind of parents are we!?! Like I said...it's been a long week.
I LOVE these three of Camden. Dyeing the Easter egg.
Eating the dye, of course! Haha!
Look at those hands. And, somehow, the entire bottom of his FOOT was blue after this.
These next few are from when we were hunting the eggs. Of course you recognize Maya, but that second cutie would be my cousin Katie's son Kru. Katie & her family came from California. Though the circumstances stink, I'm so grateful that we got to see Katie & Aaron and their two little ones. They have a new addition to their family. I'm a dork, though, and I apparently didn't take any photos of her. But, I think I'll see them tomorrow, so you can expect some then! :-) While I'm at it, the only other little one that's missing from this post is Josie Jo. She's a stinkin' CUTIE, but she seems to have hit the age where she just will not look at the camera. (I know that stage all too well with Maya.) Anyway, I'm hoping to get a few of her tomorrow, too.

And, a couple of the bigger kids. I gotta say, Rob & Robert...I'm LOVING that red barn!

Here's one of Summer. (Remember? She's my niece that's "too cool for school?")

And, my cousin Luke Duke. (Okay, so "Duke" is not officially a part of his name, but I'm sure you've noticed that I love nicknames.) Luke seems to be under the impression that Ninjas are better than Pirates. Whatev, Luke, whatev. You're young yet...you'll come around.
And, finally, because we're gluttons for punishment, Curt & I stopped on the way home to get a few bluebonnet pictures. Honestly, I've not always been a fan of them, but I feel obligated to get some every year anyway. I actually kinda like this year's. The girls were BEYOND cranky & tired. (I guess that's what coloring Easter eggs at midnight gets ya.) But, they made it through & were actually fairly cooperative.





I have OODLES & OODLES more, too, from the past few days. I don't know that I'll ever get around to posting them, but this is a good sampling. I do have one, though, of my mom wearing, ummm...how should I say it? Hooker shoes. With her socks. HAHA! Okay, I know this will need a little explaining because otherwise mom will be MORTIFIED! Heather has these shoes. SHE has labeled them "hooker" shoes. Not me. Anyway, we coaxed mom into trying them on one evening. She was a good sport and even allowed photos. Ha! I'll have to post one of those, won't I!?!

Thank you all so much.

I just want to say thank you for all the kind words & prayers for my family. I felt comfort in knowing that I was able to share him with you all.

My mom (the big reason I started this blog) will be flying in from the other side of the world Tuesday morning. So, Heather, Summer & I will be going to pick her up. From there, I'll be going to stay at Heather's house throughout the rest of the week. I don't know that I'll be able to update during that time, so here's one last quick post. You can probably expect a lot of photos when I come back because I WILL be taking my camera with me. Photography is comforting.

While the girls were napping this afternoon, I stepped out on the front porch to rock in my rocking chair & get a little quiet time to myself. When I opened the door, I found a little treasure. Now, I'm no bird expert, and I'm most definitely not a bird EGG expert, but I found the cutest little egg on our porch. (Don't ask me what kind, 'cause seriously...NOT a bird expert.) At first, I felt a little sad that the egg & it's contents would never reach it's full potential. But, then...then the photographer's brain kicked in, and I thought, "oh, wouldn't this make a cute little Springtime photo!?!" I'd seen a sweet little photo that Brenda Acuncias had done of her daughter & a cute little egg, so it inspired me to try it when Emma woke up. (If you visit her blog, you'll see a thumbnail of the photo there in her "about me" section.)

So, here you go. It is officially Springtime. (Which it has been for a while, but this week really feels extra "Springy" to me.)

Well...

I wonder how long I can sit and look at a blank screen? I mean, until I just started typing this, I was easily going on 10 minutes. I don’t have many words today, but I want to have words. I want to have the perfect words.

My grampa passed away today. My heart is heavy, my tears are flowing, and my words are few. I’m trying to find the most perfect way to share my feelings about him, but it all seems pretty inadequate. I wish that whatever I typed could make you feel my adoration for him. I wish that my words could make you feel as though you knew him and have lost something, too, because he deserves to be missed by the world. I just want to be able to pay a sufficient tribute to his life, but I just don’t know that I can find the words. So much of what I want to express is emotion, and how do you express emotion effectively & as strongly as you feel it?

He was a grouchy, grouchy man with a tough exterior, but he didn’t fool anyone. Deep down, he had the softest heart. It’s almost funny how much he tried to play tough & grouchy when it was SO obvious to all of us granddaughters, atleast, that he was just a big, compassionate pushover. When the four of us worked together…well, we could get him to agree to almost anything! I’ll miss that. I mean, Heather, Alison, Katie & I all shared a completely different dynamic when we were together with him. I don’t know that we’ll ever see that dynamic again without him around to invoke it.

And gosh, what a fun, fun man…always playful. I know this is a favorite memory shared by many…only grampa would allow Alison to take his false teeth OUT of his mouth to chase Katie around. (Katie would be the younger sister. She was also TERRIFIED of grampa’s teeth! Ha!) Why he complied? Who knows. Probably just because Alison asked!

And, for those of you that caught that part in one of my previous posts…what was it that grampa used to say about a pouty lip? Yeah, that was something I heard FREQUENTLY. I guess I was whiney or pouty…I don’t know. But, he would regularly tell me that if I wasn’t careful about that bottom lip, a bird would come land on it and take a "crap." Although, he probably didn’t say “crap.” I don’t recall exactly what he DID say. It obviously didn’t scare me out of pouting, though, as I heard it SO many times! Ah, the good ol’ days.

I guess his true grouchiness shined through sometimes. I remember all us kids having to eat meals on his kitchen floor at his condo because that’s where the linoleum was! Haha! It was a tiny kitchen, too. I also remember getting in trouble countless times because he had this chair that spun around…kinda like an office chair spins, but not an office chair at all. Anyway, you can guess how it went…we were always spinning in that thing! He didn’t like that. And, the funny thing…I think he recently replaced that furniture how many years later!?!

But, truly, he was a good, kind man. As many times as we got in trouble for spinning in his chair, atleast a billion times more than that, we climbed up in his lap and just sat with him. And, often times that would turn into us giving him a completely CRAZY makeover. The man had THE FULLEST, THICKEST head of hair EVER! Seriously. He kept it longer, too, so we had the best time giving him mohawks, spiking it everywhere…you name it, we did it! The funny thing about this little tidbit…the last time we did that was on his 70th birthday. That was only 7 years ago. We were all grown & settled, but we had a grand time curling his hair that night.

So, yeah, I could reminisce forever. I’ve got to get on with this post, though this is quite therapeutic, actually.

Shortly after Heather called to tell me, I was sitting out on the front porch just…I don’t know…thinking, I guess. The sun was starting to set, and I was thinking about him trying to gain a little bit of peace. I saw the sunlight fading, the daylight slipping away, and it occurred to me that this was the last daylight he saw. In that moment, I realized the metaphor. The sun was setting - leaving for the day, just as his life had faded, slipped away. I wanted to stop it for a moment – the sun, that is. I would have liked to hang on to him for a bit longer, but I know that I can’t, so the sun will have to do. I ran to get my camera so that I could forever capture the last sunlight that he saw. I felt anxious & pressured to get the shot before it was gone, and I’m relieved to know that I did.

And, as I looked back for photographs of him, I came across this one. It's my new favorite. Yes, it's out of focus, but isn't it funny how quickly technicalities fly out the window when it REALLY matters? This is the grampa I remember:
Before the phone call, we were having a lovely day. When Heather called, and I saw that it was her on the caller ID, I thought, "oh, good, I can tell her we chopped Maya's hair." Yeah...not so important, afterall. I didn't get the chance to tell her. So, Heather...we chopped Maya's hair. Still not important, but I took the photos and know that people would like to see them.


We had also taken a few pictures, the girls & I. It's funny (or not so much) how things can change in an instant. Seriously...we were having a great day. :(





Love you, Gramps.